Called by federal prosecutors to the witness stand in Bonds’ perjury trial, she testified that Bonds’ sexual performance declined in the later years of their relationship.  She also said that his testicles changed shape and shrank…Another side effect of steroid use.  Bell also testified that Bonds grew and shaved chest hair and developed acne on his back…

The technical term for that is “backne.” I just can’t wait to see who federal prosecutors call next. Are they going to call his teammates from the 80s who saw him naked in the locker room in order to testify as to his formerly massive package? Is the jury going to get the luxury of visuals, such as before-and-after photographic comparisons documenting this wiener change?  But I digress…

Wednesday’s testimony came primarily from current and former employees of UCLA’s Olympic Lab, which tested a urine sample from Bonds obtained during baseball’s 2003 testing program, and which tested positive for “the clear.” Prosecutors have now indicated they only have three witnesses left: Kathy Hoskins, Bonds’ former personal shopper; Dr. Arthur Ting, the slugger’s former orthopedic surgeon; and Don Catlin, a renowned anti-doping expert who tested a 2003 drug sample from Bonds.  Prosecutors have declined to call Bobby Estalella, a Giant during the 2000 and 2001 seasons who presumably would have testified to occasions when Bonds told him about using performance enhancing drugs, former Giants Benito Santiago and Armando Rios, and former Balco VP James Valente.

Bonds faces four counts of perjury and one count of obstructing justice for lying to a federal grand jury about steroid use.

Barry Bonds Trial Update is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

Many have defended or straight out encouraged the idea, citing the 16 team playoff format utilized by the NBA and the 12 team playoff format in the NFL.  But quite frankly, how absolutely pathetic do you feel even tuning in to the 1 seed versus 8 seed series in Round One of the NBA Playoffs? No one should want to reward a .500 Indiana Pacers team with a playoff berth.  It’s plain retarded.  It seems to take an entire MONTH of NBA playoff action to even get into the meat of the competition between quality teams. If the MLB went NBA on everyone’s asses, do you know who we would have had to endure in the playoffs this year? The motherfucking Florida Marlins and Detroit Tigers!!!  And for what, so we can reward the 12 loyal fans of the Florida Marlins who survived their team’s truly mediocre season? I’ll tell you what, if the Marlins really want to be a perennial fixture in the postseason, perhaps they should stop having fire sales following every one of their World Series appearances.  Even my beloved St. Louis Cardinals would have made the playoffs under the proposed new playoff format. But did the underperforming Cardinals deserve to be in the 2010 playoffs? Sadly, no.   And I quite like seeing the best-of-the-best face off starting on day one of the playoffs.

If we are going to let so many damn teams into the thing to begin with, why even have a grueling 162-game schedule? Let’s just play April, get a sense of things, and then start the playoffs in the first week of May.  Or we can change baseball completely and just have the entire season be one big tournament with every team invited to participate until one team is left standing.

But I have to go catch a flight to Milwaukee now because I have a date with an upper decker in Bud Selig’s master bathroom.

MLB to Change Playoff Format? is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

(Shin-Soo Choo, Just Because You're Not From America Doesn't Mean You Can't Be An American-Sized Pain-In-The-Ass)

In what is becoming a prevalent trend in professional sports, everyone wants to get the fuck out of Cleveland. Fast.

In fact, Indians right fielder Shin-Soo Choo told The Korea Times, “ As with other players, I also want to transfer to a team which wins more. If I could move to a better team, I could generate a better record and improve more.”

Perhaps Mr. Choo should have thought of that before the made a deal with Cleveland that leaves three years remaining on his contract.  But since Choo is eligible for arbitration this offseason, he will command more money. Expect his $461,000 salary to rise significantly.  With Choo’s significant contributions necessary for the lackluster Cleveland offense, the Indians will most certainly try and sign him to a long-term contract to make him happy.  Either that or Choo can return to Korea to serve his mandatory two years of military service as required by the Korean government.  Good times.

Since the situation in Korea is so fucking awesome right now, he should probably reconsider whether being stuck in the military in third world-esqe Korea is preferable to sitting his ass in dumpy Cleveland, getting paid a shit boat load of money, and playing for a mediocre to potentially quite horrendous ball club.

But like an abused wife, I think true Cleveland fans are now numb to the pain and suffering

Shin-Soo Choo Pulls “The LeBron” On Cleveland is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

(Tropicana Field, in all its glory)

The lack of attendance at home Tampa Bay Rays games is apparently getting under the skin of some of its star players. On a night the Tampa Bay Rays had a chance to clinch a playoff spot, only 12,446 fans – the fourth smallest crowd of the season – showed up at Tropicana Field.  And of that total, who knows how many were actually there to support the Rays.

Evan Longoria was quoted as saying “… You’d pretty much like to think that a team in a playoff hunt, with an opportunity to clinch, that you could at least get 30,000 in here to cheer you on…. We play 155 games of really good baseball, and it’s kind of like, what else do we have to do to get fans into this place? I mean, it’s actually embarrassing to us.”  Longoria, who has missed the last four games with an injury, said the lack of support is “disheartening.”

Moreover, pitcher David Price took to his Twitter account to proclaim, “Had a chance to clinch a post season spot tonight with about 10,000 fans in the stands … embarrassing.”

However, I have been to St. Petersburg (where the Tropicana Field is actually located) and I have to say, are Evan Longoria and David Price just trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest gathering of derelicts in history? They should be happy there are only 12K there per night. Any more “fans” and they would have to enact Hepatitis testing upon entry into the ballpark.

Tropicana Field’s Ghost-Town Status Haunting Team is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

As you may or may not know, I made a solemn promise to myself to not post until Brad Lidge had started sucking again, and all was again right with the world. And now I have not posted for a month. So the question remains: Is Brad Lidge really good again?

Until the mid-way point of this season, Brad Lidge was still making a habit out of blowing saves left and right.  The demands were strong in Philadelphia for set-up man Ryan Madson to be promoted to closer.  However, Manager Charlie Manuel refused to consider this move. Then Lidge seemed to revert back to his 2008 lights out self.  He performed very well in his save opportunities throughout the month of August. And even though he will probably never again reach the greatness of 2008, it does appear Lidge has worked past his issues, and is back to being a solid closer.

In 2009, Lidge’s walk rate was 5.22 BB/9, a career high. His 1.69 HR/9 rate was yet another career high.

But now, Lidge’s strikeout and walk rates in 2010 are almost identical to his 2008 numbers:

2008 Lidge: 11.94 K/9, 4.54 BB/9

2010 Lidge: 11.12 K/9, 4.45 BB/9

But has Lidge actually turned the corner? In August, Lidge has returned to pounding the strike zone and getting batters to chase balls.  Lidge does not have the velocity he used to, and his slider simply isn’t the same, his improved command has made up for it.

Will it last for the remainder of his career? Quite frankly, I think I smiled a lot more when he made an art out of choking.

Is Brad Lidge Good Again? is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

Stop crying, you pussy!

As many already know, there was an altercation at Citi Field following the Mets’ Wednesday night loss to the Colorado Rockies.  According to a police spokesman, New York Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez “repeatedly hit [Carlos Pena] in the face and hit his head against a wall.”  Carlos Pena is Rodriguez’s girlfriend’s father.  However, the New York Daily News is reporting that Mr. Pena was simply offering some tough-love advice to K-Rod. Apparently, following the game, Rodriguez started yelling about the most recent loss by the team and Pena said to him, “Stop acting like a baby. Man up, and play better.”

His resultant two-game suspension will cost him more than $125,000 of his $11.5 million salary. Rodriguez apologized and said he’ll undergo anger-management counseling. Rodriguez was charged with third-degree assault and second-degree harassment in Queens Criminal Court on Thursday.

What Made K-Rod Beat Up His Girlfriend’s Father? is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip