(Eric Gagne - Isn't ache a sign of steroid use?)

Beginning his attempt at returning to the majors, former Cy Young winner Eric Gagne responded to questions about performance-enhancing drugs by saying “There are a lot of regrets.”

He also told reporters, “I’ve said it 150 times, it’s always going to be on my resume for the rest of my life. People will second-guess everything I do and if I have a good year they’ll all second guess. That’s normal. I’m not expecting anything else. But for me it’s over. I have to go on. I can talk about it every day. It doesn’t matter. I still have to go out and pitch and perform.”

But in a later interview with the Los Angeles Times published this past Saturday, Gagne became a little less obtuse in his admissions when asked about his alleged use of HGH:

“I did,” [Gagne] says. “I hate to talk about it. It just doesn’t do anyone any good. But I thought it would help me get better when I hurt my knee. I just don’t want that to sound as an excuse.

“I’m so ashamed. It wasn’t smart. If I knew what I know now … I didn’t need it. I regret it so much, just now maybe getting over the guilt. It was stupid.”

The once imposing and feared closer signed a minor league deal with the Dodgers, guaranteeing him a relatively meager $500,000 if he makes the Opening Day roster.

I hate to toot my own horn, but I was preaching this news to all the people creaming their leopard print thongs in Los Angeles over Eric Gagne years before his name ever showed up in the Mitchell Report.  Now, this news is pretty much a “duh” situation, but I always like to make formal announcement of how right I consistently am.

Eric Gagne Discusses His HGH Use is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

Since Mark McGwire is coming back to baseball this year as the new hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, it is clear he wanted to get something of his voluptuous steroid-induced man-tittays.

According to Mr. McGwire’s own admission, he used steroids on and off throughout the 90s, including during his record-breaking home run season.  I haven’t been this shocked since I found out Freddie Mercury was gay.

“It’s time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize,” McGwire said in a statement released through the Cardinals. “I wish I had never touched steroids. It was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroids era.”

Of course this will be of minor benefit to the St. Louis Cardinals, as McGwire’s continued silence would have made it difficult for him to work productively with Holliday and the other Cardinals hitters without heavy skepticism.

McGwire somewhat defended himself by stating that his usage came with the desire to recover quickly from injuries and not as a means of cheating.  That’s crazy, because I could have sworn he did all those ‘roids because he hated having testicles.  I know I would.

Mark McGwire Did Steriods… AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS. is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

Jim Leyland was asked for his reaction to the David Ortiz steroid saga this weekend.  This is what he had to say:

“I don’t condone steroids or any other type of growth hormones or anything else, but I could care less, and, for the most part, I don’t think the fans give a (bleep). The people that care about it are the people that probably don’t like baseball.”

“Do we want to peck until we get every last name out? What’s the difference? I don’t condone any form of cheating, but I’m tired of press conferences about steroids. Who am I to judge? It’s none of my business.”

“I’m not trying to prove (baseball) innocent. We’ve made some mistakes. The worst era in baseball was when guys were found guilty of using cocaine and other (bleep) because they could’ve gone out there and hurt someone.”

Thank you wise old man!  This is now my favorite geezer since Santa Claus.  My favorite old guy used to be Morgan Freeman until I found out he was bangin’ his step-granddaughter.  But I digress…

The media is really trying to push the idea that steroids and other performance-enhancers are irrevocably damaging the relationship between the fan and their teams.  This constant bombardment of stories regarding new players and new allegations is trying to tell us that, yes, this information really MATTERS to us.  And while I too do not appreciate nor condone professional athletes creating legends built on some degree of lies, I am not naive enough to think performance enhancer usage is some new, controversial phenomenon.

As early as the 1960s, it became clear that professional athletes of all sorts, including Olympians, were utilizing amphetamines (“pep pills”), tranquilizers, cocaine and other drugs in elite sports in order to gain some sort of edge in competition.  However, the definition of cheating has changed throughout history. Today’s athletes use air-inflated soles on their spikes, they run on fast artificial surfaces and they wear aerodynamic body suits. Moreover, even training in many instances was considered cheating in the early nineteenth century.

I guess the question is, does the media simply have the wrong idea in thinking baseball’s fans care so deeply for this issue or is the media intent on making us care?  The fact of the matter is that after all is said and done, the Mannys and the A-Rods of the world go back to the cheers of millions.  Maybe the everyman baseball fan just has an understanding of the situation that the media will never allow itself to have: “cheating”, by some definition, will always exist. 

I know that if my entire livelihood and success depended on it, I’d gladly take a needle in the butt!

Jim Leyland Sounds Off On Steroids is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

Bronson Arroyo told the Boston Herald that he used both androstenedione and amphetamines back in the early 2000s.  Both substances were allowed by MLB at the time he was taking them, but have since been banned.  According to Bronson:

“Before 2004, none of us paid any attention to anything we took.  Andro made me feel great, I felt like a monster. I felt like I could jump and hit my head on the basketball rim.”

Another side-effect of steroids and performance-enhancing drugs: douchey hair growth.  Tragic.  Too bad steroids can’t make you stop thinking people want to hear your stupid band.  He released an album called Covering the Bases.  You can’t make that shit up…

That must be one troublesome poop.

Bronson Arroyo: “I Felt Like A Monster.” is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip

(Source: stltoday.com)

Colby Rasmus has been trying to grow a mustache since the end of June and this is how far he’s gotten.  It’s disturbing to me.  It looks like he was napping before the game and someone rubbed poop on the corners of his mouth as a joke and he went out to play without looking in the mirror, and hasn’t looked in 4 weeks.

But the good news is we know he isn’t roiding up.  Everyone knows that high testosterone levels will cause excessive body hair growth.  It’s sad, because you know he’s thinking, “Sweet, I’m a pro baseball player now and I’m going to get laid!”  Then his a-hole teammates decided to screw him over by making him grow the most ridiculous facial hair since Dustin Hermanson.

Colby Rasmus Is Definitely NOT On Steroids is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip