The Baseball Chick

Sorry for the long hiatus folks, but I’ve been in four months of inpatient therapy over the whole The-Cardinals-Offered-Albert-Pujols-Equity-In-The-Fucking-Team-And-He-Still-Turned-Them-Down Fiasco.

Anyways, I attended the Diamondbacks/Rangers spring training game last weekend and I have some interesting news to report from the brand spanking new Salt River Fields.

1) Sneak your own fucking liquor into the game. I stood in line from the 3rd to the 6th inning waiting for a fucking Miller Lite, which almost tastes as good as committing suicide.

2) Ladies, bring your douchebag repellent. When the Dbacks won the game in the bottom of the 9th, I didn’t know whether to stand up and cheer, or start fist pumpin’ because, you know, I had to fight the beat back. Me and my friend listened to 4 alleged “men” standing near the Rangers bullpen discuss whether some chick standing behind us would be hot if she dropped 10 pounds, and then debate for 15 minutes as to whether that 10 pounds was just water weight…. True story.

3) My friend thinks Matt Treanor is super hot.  And honestly, she puts Misty May to shame, so he probably should have gone for it.

4) The Rangers catchers in the bullpen have heated rock-paper-scissors battles to determine who will catch the next warm-up session.

In conclusion, I hope this helps my readers when it comes time to draft your fantasy teams!

Braves’ rookie sensation Jason Heyward will open the season as Atlanta’s regular major league right fielder. The 20-year-old Heyward is batting .366, with a homer and five RBIs in 41 at-bats this spring. He also has a .500 on-base percentage and .537 slugging average.

“He’ll be in there every day,” manager Bobby Cox said. “With him, it doesn’t matter if a lefty or a righty is pitching.”

Heyward doesn’t turn 21 until August, but everyone has been impressed by his maturity both on and off the field.

“His plate discipline for being that age is really beyond my comprehension,” Braves hitting coach Terry Pendleton said. “All I can say is that everyone in Atlanta has a lot to look forward to.”  (fanhouse.com)

In sum, this guy is a stud.  Watch out.

The Kansas City Royals say left-handed pitching prospect Danny Duffy has left baseball.  Duffy left camp after telling the club that he wanted to reassess his priorities. The team offered no additional information.

The 21-year-old Duffy went 19-10 with a 2.49 ERA in 52 games since drafted in 2007.

Apparently the Royals were a little pumped about this guy, but he wasn’t going to make the club right out of spring training. They wanted to work on his mechanics.

Oh, I forgot, it’s the Royals, no one cares.  Sorry.

Spring Training has begun and we are well on our way to another Fantasy Baseball season.  But don’t be a jackass, everyone knows who the big prospects are for this year.  So before you walk into your draft this year with this big secret smile on your face thinking that you have this genius information that no one else in the league could even fathom having, chug on some icy cold reality.  And for the turds that don’t know, below is mlb.com’s rankings of the Top 50 Prospects for 2010: