The Baseball Chick

According to a baseball rumor on TMZ, Johan Santana was accused of sexual battery that allegedly occurred on a Florida golf course.  However, the case never got noticed and went nowhere according to TMZ.

In the document, the accuser claims she and Santana were walking on the golf course when he “began to kiss her and pull up her top, unclasping her bra.” The report continues: “Johan began to pull at [the accuser's] skirt/ and attempt [sic] to place his hands into her underwear.” According to the document the alleged victim “told Johan no multiple times but Johan persisted.”  TMZ contacted Santana’s rep, who said, “Johan denied the charges and was never charged with anything.”

Santana and his accuser both agree they had sex on a golf course, that Santana’s sperm ended up on her thigh, and that she walked with him to meet his father and another friend playing tennis within thirty minutes.  But only Santana and his accuser know what really happened.  But he clearly the golf got to his head and he thought he was Tiger Woods out there.  Understandable.  But girl, can’t you wipe that semen off your thigh?!?!  Have some class.

(Delonte West, the worst friend/teammate on the planet)

LeBron James’ teammate, Delonte West, is sleeping with LeBron’s mother, Gloria James.  According to TerezOwens.com:

My source explains the following.  “My uncle is the general contractor at the Q and has been for the last 7 years.  He’s good friends with a lot of guys at the Q, including some of the bigger boys in the organization and knows Dan Gilbert personally.  My uncle has been told that Delonte has been banging Gloria James (LeBron’s Mom) for some time now.  Somehow LeBron found out before Game Four and it destroyed their chemistry and divided the team.  I am not making this up, I wish it wasn’t try but it happened.”  With Delone West’s checkered past, LeBron can be none too pleased with his teammate and good friend hanging with his Mother.

It was obvious that LeBron James was acting disengaged and distant during the games. In huddles he often looked at the ceiling or into the distance.  People have been guessing as to what the problem was, but little did anyone guess that it was one of his teammates boning his Mom!!!  The mental image is, well, disturbing to say the least.  At least LeBron has another reason to get the hell out of Cleveland.  The only people that live in Cleveland are people that hate themselves.

What a super-douche:

Jason Kendall’s estranged wife Chantel has filed divorce papers placing the Kansas City Royals catcher at the center of a new baseball drugs scandal involving Adderall. Now, RadarOnline.com has learned that according to Kendall’s sworn deposition, it’s not just him that is caught up in the furor surrounding the use of Adderall – Kendall also name checks LA Dodgers right fielder Brian Giles and Pittsburgh Pirates infielder Bobby Crosby. In the papers, Kendall disclosed that Brian Giles is someone that he has known since 1997 and when asked if Giles uses Adderall, Kendall said, “I believe so.” He didn’t know if Giles was currently taking it. Kendall was also asked if he knew if Bobby Crosby took Adderall and he said, “I don’t know,” before going on to admit that the two had discussed Adderall “more than one time.” Kendall testified that his dosage of Adderall was decreased when he wasn’t training and that he took from 30-60 milligrams since he first starting taking it in 2006. Kendall said he took 60 milligrams of Adderall during Spring 2009 and ending in October 2009 and that in November it was decreased to 45 milligrams. (Radar Online)

Maybe I just don’t have all the information, but why are Brian Giles’ and Bobby Crosby’s names even coming up in Jason Kendall’s divorce proceedings?  So he gets accused of abusing Adderall, and this fucking knucklehead man-child immediately starts listing off any other ballplayer that used or uses it so that he’s not alone with the blame?!?!  Well, Jason, I can’t imagine why any woman would want to divorce you, because you are clearly a classy, classy dude.

On a side note, I think I have a better chance of walking outside and seeing Camilo Villegas floating on a raft in my pool than you do of throwing out anyone trying to steal second…