The Baseball Chick

Get out the Stella Artois and Oreos, because I’m camped out in front of the television watching the heated Red Sox-Yankees rivalry all weekend…. not.  This is a mass conspiracy orchestrated by Fox and ESPN in order to convince us that this rivalry is the most important thing in sports… like the rest of America doesn’t even exist.  The next weekend I am force-fed a weekend of Yankees-Red Sox baseball, I’m going to the zoo to punch a baby seal in the face.  Don’t tempt me.

Call me what you will, but I could watch Don Zimmer get thrown to the ground for 5 straight hours and the smile would never leave my face.  I mean, what a senile retard.  What did his old ass think he was actually going to do to Pedro Martinez?

Crack open an icy cold Budweiser Cardinals Nation, because Chris Duncan is no longer a member of the St. Louis Cardinals.  The wackiest part is…they actually got a real life baseball player for him.  Not a good one or anything (Julio Lugo), but a living, breathing human.  I would have traded him for a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

“… he hasn’t scored a hit in nine straight games and is now batting just .227/.329/.358 with five dingers and 32 RBI in 260 at-bats. He has also struck out 67 times this year and brings absolutely nothing to the table defensively.” (RotoWorld)

When asked about the trade, Chris Duncan was quoted as saying, “Fire…BAD!”