The Baseball Chick

Since Mark McGwire is coming back to baseball this year as the new hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, it is clear he wanted to get something of his voluptuous steroid-induced man-tittays.

According to Mr. McGwire’s own admission, he used steroids on and off throughout the 90s, including during his record-breaking home run season.  I haven’t been this shocked since I found out Freddie Mercury was gay.

“It’s time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize,” McGwire said in a statement released through the Cardinals. “I wish I had never touched steroids. It was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroids era.”

Of course this will be of minor benefit to the St. Louis Cardinals, as McGwire’s continued silence would have made it difficult for him to work productively with Holliday and the other Cardinals hitters without heavy skepticism.

McGwire somewhat defended himself by stating that his usage came with the desire to recover quickly from injuries and not as a means of cheating.  That’s crazy, because I could have sworn he did all those ‘roids because he hated having testicles.  I know I would.

I couldn’t post this on Friday when the trade actually happened because I was temporarily rendered comatose by the thought of what Matt Holliday can do batting behind Albert Pujols and what Albert Pujols can do batting in front of Matt Holliday.

Whew!  I almost just blacked out again.  It’s shocking and actually a bit nauseating, just like when you find out you’ve been living in the matrix.

Anyways, the A’s acquired third baseman Brett Wallace, righthanded starter Clay Mortensen and outfielder Shane Peterson in the deal for Holliday.  Holliday hit .286 with 11 homers and 54 RBI for Oakland this season.  Interestingly, Holliday had eliminated his high leg kick during off-season training with Mark McGwire; however, he had returned to his old plate technique in his last month with the A’s.  Not surprisingly, it was also his most productive month.