How Do I Love Thee, Kevin Gregg?
Posted in Baseball Rumors, Groupies & Gossip on September 12th, 2009 by The Baseball Chick – Be the first to commentMan, I love watching National League ballgames. However, something in my heart goes aflutter everytime these closers blow another game in the 9th, just like I’m one of those chicks on the Antonio Sabato, Jr. dating show. I feel like a giddy schoolgirl again! I’ve decided to start writing love letters to these wonderful, beautiful men who make me feel so good inside…
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Dear Kevin:
I loved turning on SportsCenter every night at the beginning of summer. I liked that you didn’t play games with me. You were so consistent. I knew that every night, I could turn down the lights, burn some candles, flip on some Barry White, and watch you ruin another potential Cubs victory. You were my reason for watching every night! When I was feeling down, I knew that your crappy pitching could put a smile on my face. You’re so sweet to me! I even looked for a Kevin Gregg jersey, but I think those horrible Cubs fans burned them all in anger. Why don’t they just accept you for what you do so well, which is blowing games!?!
I’m so sad that they don’t let you close anymore. It’s obvious to me that Lou Pinella is just jealous of your sex appeal, with those hot glasses and all. I yearn for your 90 mile per hour fastball, sailing like a gigantic beach ball over the plate, to be in my life once again.
Love,
thebaseballchick