The Baseball Chick

Carl Crawford sustained a testicular contusion on Tuesday night when he was hit directly in the junk by a Jake Arrieta pickoff throw.  He will be out of the lineup tonight against the Orioles.  However, when he does return, Crawford will remain protective cup-less.

“I’m just not going to wear a cup,” he said Wednesday morning. “I don’t think that’s going to happen again. It had never happened in eight years, you know what I’m saying? I’ve got nothing to worry about. [I'm not going to] let that one little incident change the way I do things, especially if I’m feeling better. Just be real careful when I’m out there.”

If I was a major league pitcher, I would always direct my pickoff throws directly at the wang and balls.  It is a great way to get a really good ballplayer out of the lineup.  It’s something the rest of the AL East should keep in mind!

Last week, Tampa Bay Rays’ outfielder Carl Craward shouted at fellow Ray Pat Burrell in the clubhouse prior to a game against the Orioles.  According to the Daily News Wire Services:

Crawford, who had two hits for Tampa Bay but was twice caught stealing by Wieters, repeatedly yelled across the clubhouse at the Rays’ designated hitter. Burrell, in his first year with Tampa Bay after 9 with the Phillies, did not respond.

A teammate then stepped in front of Crawford, trying to calm the situation. Crawford was ushered into a side room.

Carl Crawford is probably just pissed that Pat is getting paid $7 million this season to sit on his loser DH ass and get fat!  Besides the fact that Burrell’s statistics have been steadily plummeting since his rebound 2005 season (.281, .258, .256, .250, .230 anyone?), this once most-eligible-bachelor-of-the-MLB has pulled an old fashioned Britney Spears.  I mean, let’s not screw around kids, I don’t know whether to ask for his autograph or stuff an apple in this mouth and tie him to a roasting spit.  Don’t get it?  I’m calling him a fat pig.