(Brett Favre, Cry Baby Extraordinaire)

Earlier this year, my burning, tear-inducing hate for Michael Vick consumed me.  I couldn’t wait for the beginning of the season simply in order to voice my disgust for whatever team signed him.  In preparation, I watched Dog Town on the National Geographic Channel over and over again.  (Watch it, it’ll make you sick.)  It made me mad.  My eyes began to bulge out of my head the way Mike Singletary’s used to when he was waiting for the ball to snap.  I told myself, “Be outraged for Albert Pujols!”  (The number one man in my life, my kick-ass miniature schnauzer.)

Then, like magic, the American public’s never-ending nightmare, Brett Favre, decided to bring his cry baby act back to the NFL.  Hey Brett, the NFL is for REAL MEN you pansy!  It occurred to me, if I hate Michael Vick so much because he hurt my favorite animal in the world, then Brett Favre must’ve done something pretty damn bad himself.  Then it became clear, Brett Favre violates baby sea otters.  This, as you may be aware, is the second cutest creature in the entire animal kingdom.  So way to go, Brett Favre, you baby sea otter fucker…

Welcome To My Three-Some Of Hate, Brett Favre is a post from: The Baseball Chick - Baseball News, Updates, Fantasy Advice, Rumors & Gossip