Camilo Villegas lining up his putt. Could this guy be any more sexual? He’s humping the green for crying out loud!
Get that ball in the hole you bad, bad boy…
(The McCourts during happier times)
This broad is out of control:
Jamie McCourt wants nearly $1 million per month in temporary support from her estranged husband, an amount disclosed in a court filing in which her lawyers allege Frank McCourt has engaged in a “carefully calculated subterfuge designed to mislead the court” about his financial resources.The revised request — for $988,845 per month — reflects property-tax bills as well as additional records that her lawyers claim can show the couple averaged $2.3 million per month in salaries, distributions and perks starting in 2004, when the McCourts bought the [MLB's Los Angeles] Dodgers. (LA Times)
Hey, if you wanted to rock the lifestyle, maybe you shouldn’t have started banging your $20 an hour bodyguard. She is clearly a bad businesswoman.
It is rumored that Curtis Granderson is on his way to the Yankees in a three-team deal that would also involve pitchers Edwin Jackson and Ian Kennedy going to Arizona. In return, exciting young pitchers Daniel Schlereth and Max Scherzer would be sent to the Tigers. What all this means for Johnny Damon’s and Melky Cabrera’s days in New York is still an open question.
My first impression is that this deal is a big “thumbs up” for both the Yankees and the Tigers. However, I think I would even have a hard time dealing Jackson and Kennedy for Scherzer and Schlereth in my fantasy league this upcoming season. I mean, Jackson did well last season, but I got him nearly at the end of my draft when some other morons were trying to choose between J.R. Towles and Josh Bard. Get it? Total fluke.
BREAKING NEWS: According to thedirty.com, which I find to have very reliable news, oftentimes before anyone else picks up on it, Elin Nordegren Woods tried to beat the living jesus out of her husband, Tiger Woods, because he knocked up one of his many mistresses!!! Not only was is Tiger unbelievably indiscreet, but he also must have an allergy to latex. And besides these chicks looking unbelievably whorish, they must also be too brain dead to take a stupid pill.
Well, I hope he has syphilis.
(Rachel Uchitel, Whore Deluxe)
Yes, the body is fairly bangin’, but let’s please take a gander at the cosmetic-surgery fiasco that is this “lady’s” face. She even comes complete with the post-eye lift wonky eye, a la Paris Hilton! I’m putting “lady” in quotes here simply because there is the distinct and not-too-subtle hint of drag queen in this “chick’s” face. To anyone that thinks otherwise, I have some good news for you: you may be a dude that’s had sex with another dude and not known it. More than once.
To be fair, the “chick” in question, Rachel Uchitel, is denying the affair, as well as the rumors of texting, etc. But this is also the same chick that has recently been accused of having an affair with a married David Boreanaz (lead dude from Bones and Angel) while his wife was pregnant. So either this chick is name-dropping something fierce in order to become famous not caring whose lives she ruins in the process or she is really into bangin’ married celebrities. Neither scenario makes her anything more than an overpriced dolled-up prostitute.
Makes me yearn for the days when we took skanks like this, accused them of practicing witchcraft and then burned them alive (also known as “The Good Ol’ Days”).
(Cole Hamels, Douche Extraordinaire)
Following the Phillies’ victory on Monday night to extend the series to Game 6, Brett Myers had some choice words for Cole Hamels in the aftermath of his recent wimpy, diva-like statement concerning his exhaustion and eagerness for the end of the season. The quick version is that Hamels whined, after failing yet again in Game 3, “I can’t wait for it to end. It’s been mentally draining. At year end, you just can’t wait for a fresh start.”
I could see a statement like that coming from a walking catastrophe like Jose Contreras, or from someone whose team failed miserably this year, like the Chicago Cubs, but for fuck’s sake, your team is in the World Series! AGAIN!!! FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW!!!
So apparently while in the clubhouse, Myers walked past Hamels’ locker and said, “What are you doing here? I thought you quit.” Hamels is said to have responded with an expletive, the nature of which I am not aware. Before things got to fisticuffs, with Hamels trying to make open-hand contact with Myers’ cheek and Myers yanking on Hamels’ bowl-cut, Myers was led away by a team official.
The word is that Hamels’ comments didn’t sit well with many a Phillies teammate, but I guess Myers was the only one with the balls enough to say anything about it. Hamels tried to explain away the comments by reiterating his “love of the game” and “love [for] for city of Philadelphia,” but it seems clear to me that Hamels is just another prima donna who will take his over-sized paycheck and obscenely long off-season to go sail his humongous yacht around the world while taking baths in beluga semen, or whatever it is rich assholes do with their free time.
Even though he was the World Series and NLCS MVP last year, I think all fans can take solace in the fact that Cole Hamels is only getting more and more average over time.
Holy crap you retarded bitch! Black face isn’t funny, cute or acceptable, even when Bing Crosby does it in Holiday Inn while he’s singing his ode to Abraham Lincoln! I hope her “friends” kicked her ass shortly after this picture was taken.
(Steve Phillips and Brooke Hundley)
So, after my traumatic 2009 MLB Playoff experience, I flew to Switzerland and was placed in a medically induced coma. It was the best that I could do since I don’t think they have actually developed the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind technology. Alas, it didn’t help, because the minute I awoke I told the nurse, “I had the worst dream that some bald-headed overpaid fucktard named Matt Hollidaylet a routine fly ball hit him directly in the junk and we eventually got swept from the mlb playoffs.” The nurse then told me in broken English, “Oui mademoiselle, this man, how do you say…Matt Holliday… he did this dreaded thing… he is the biggest laughing stock in the all zee land. This man, he is as funny as zee great Jerry Lewis….”
Needless to say, I am now back home and am considering becoming a hermit. What exciting baseball news I did come home to was that Steve Phillips of ESPN was fired following his admission to an affair with a 22 year old staffer named Brooke Hundley. Phillips told the police in Wilton, Connecticut: “Over a three-week span, I had a total of three sexual encounters with her. Those were the only times I spent any time alone with her.” He said this after his wife, Marni, allegedly received telephone calls, texts and a graphic letter describing the affair.
At first I was confused and I thought he was banging an actress. I mean, she looks just like one of the actors from that new movie Where The Wild Things Are. But then my buddy corrected me, informing me that those were actually people in monster costumes.
What a slap in the face to his poor wife! Not only was he banging someone else, but he was banging that big ol’ tub of lard. For those of you not familiar with some Southern cooking, here is what lard looks like:
LARD!
See the resemblance?
However, I feel more badly for my buddy. He took one look at the picture of this “chick” and his penis immediately committed suicide. His wang just picked up a gun and blew it’s fucking head off. The doctors said they’ve never seen anything like it.
Holy ba-jesus, this is Russell Martin’s girlfriend? I need her number quick. Someone needs to let this poor foreign girl know that Russell Martin is the same Canadian motherfucker who hit .250 with 7 homeruns in over 500 at bats this season. Shesh…
Does anyone else think that Lou Holtz sounds just like Sylvester the cat from Looney Tunes when he talks? Those other poor schmucks on ESPN must hate having these on-air debates with him every Saturday. I mean, not only is he clearly very senile, but he must just drench those other guys in Lou Holtz spittle. I bet even his spit smells like old people…
