Dude, call me crazy, but I think those are totally real. I think she should have paid for the nose job first, but hell, that’s just me.
According to a baseball rumor on TMZ, Johan Santana was accused of sexual battery that allegedly occurred on a Florida golf course. However, the case never got noticed and went nowhere according to TMZ.
In the document, the accuser claims she and Santana were walking on the golf course when he “began to kiss her and pull up her top, unclasping her bra.” The report continues: “Johan began to pull at [the accuser's] skirt/ and attempt [sic] to place his hands into her underwear.” According to the document the alleged victim “told Johan no multiple times but Johan persisted.” TMZ contacted Santana’s rep, who said, “Johan denied the charges and was never charged with anything.”
Santana and his accuser both agree they had sex on a golf course, that Santana’s sperm ended up on her thigh, and that she walked with him to meet his father and another friend playing tennis within thirty minutes. But only Santana and his accuser know what really happened. But he clearly the golf got to his head and he thought he was Tiger Woods out there. Understandable. But girl, can’t you wipe that semen off your thigh?!?! Have some class.
(Ken Macha)
According to Yahoo!Sports, Ken Macha, the manager of the Milwaukee Brewers, is one of the managers on the hot seat already this season. Seeing as the Brewers are well below .500 and have lost six in a row, I cannot say I am surprised. However, it is a sure thing that the Brewers will be mediocre year-in and year-out. I don’t know how it happens, since any team with Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun shouldn’t be so damn average, but they make sure they finish around third or fourth in the NL Central almost every year. Few things are so constant. The sky is blue, water is wet, and the Brewers don’t win.
And well, this season is no different, thanks to pitching staff second only to the Diamondbacks in overall horrendous-ness. I fail to see why any of the pitchers below can still get work in the majors. Trevor Hoffman has a 11.08 ERA, LaTroy Hawkins has a 9.26 ERA and Doug Davis has a 7.56 ERA. Willie Randolph will be the manager by the All Star break, or sooner.
Now, who the fuck is going to the store to pick me up a case of Pabst? A six pack is not near enough to carry me through a full night of postseason hockey mayhem.
(Delonte West, the worst friend/teammate on the planet)
LeBron James’ teammate, Delonte West, is sleeping with LeBron’s mother, Gloria James. According to TerezOwens.com:
My source explains the following. “My uncle is the general contractor at the Q and has been for the last 7 years. He’s good friends with a lot of guys at the Q, including some of the bigger boys in the organization and knows Dan Gilbert personally. My uncle has been told that Delonte has been banging Gloria James (LeBron’s Mom) for some time now. Somehow LeBron found out before Game Four and it destroyed their chemistry and divided the team. I am not making this up, I wish it wasn’t try but it happened.” With Delone West’s checkered past, LeBron can be none too pleased with his teammate and good friend hanging with his Mother.
It was obvious that LeBron James was acting disengaged and distant during the games. In huddles he often looked at the ceiling or into the distance. People have been guessing as to what the problem was, but little did anyone guess that it was one of his teammates boning his Mom!!! The mental image is, well, disturbing to say the least. At least LeBron has another reason to get the hell out of Cleveland. The only people that live in Cleveland are people that hate themselves.
Hey A-Rod! Forget Dallas Braden. You make $33 million a year and you are dating this broad??????
(Cameron Diaz, Looking Pretty Beat)
Note to self: If I ever wake up in the morning and look in the mirror to find I look like I got into a hockey fight the night before, I’m not going to leave the house that day.
Have you ever seen a dude so fucking heinous looking?!?! I would like input on who is actually uglier than this jackass. To me, he looks like a young John Wayne Gacy…
I guess I’m having a hard time figuring out why this disgusting, inbred-looking asshole wasn’t charged. I think we should only look as far as the photographs Roethlisberger took with the local police following this alleged incident. The Smoking Gun reports:
The college student who accused Ben Roethlisberger of sexually assaulting her last month in a Georgia nightclub told cops that the NFL star approached her “with his penis out of his pants” and followed her into a bathroom, where “he had sex with me” in spite of her objections.The victim’s account is included in 572 pages of Georgia Bureau of Investigation (GBI) records detailing the probe of the booze-fueled March 5 incident involving the athlete and the 20-year-old woman, both of whom had spent that evening barhopping in Milledgeville, a college town 90 miles southeast of Atlanta. The woman told police that the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback raped her in a bathroom adjacent to the VIP section of the Capital City club.
In one of two handwritten police statements, the woman recalled that she told Roethlisberger, “No, this is not OK, and he then had sex with me. He said it was OK. He then left without saying anything.” After the woman reconnected with friends, they left the club and “went to the first police car we saw,” according to one statement.
The alleged victim, in a second statement, told investigators that she met Roethlisberger at The Velvet Elvis, a Milledgeville bar where the athlete called her and her friends “a tease.” Later, at Capital City, the football star’s bodyguards “told my friends they couldn’t pass through to get to me,” she recalled. A Milledgeville Police Department incident report indicates that the woman, whose name was redacted from investigative reports, initially told a cop that she was “sexually assaulted or sexually manipulated” by Roethlisberger.
The GBI documents, which were provided to TSG in response to an open records request, include interview reports with several of the alleged victim’s friends, all of whom are sorority sisters from Georgia College and State University.
One witness, Ann Marie Lubatti, told investigators that she saw one of Roethlisberger’s bodyguards guide the alleged victim to a side door. Lubatti said that she immediately approached another bodyguard and said, “This isn’t right. My friend is back there with Ben. She needs to come back right now.” Lubatti, who described Roethlisberger as “noticeably intoxicated,” said she was rebuffed by the bodyguard, who remarked, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
When Lubatti later spotted her friend, the alleged victim said, “We need to go now.” Lubatti said the woman told her that Roethlisberger “walked back to where she was with his penis already out of his pants. She told him that they shouldn’t be doing this and that it wasn’t right.” The woman told Lubatti that Roethlisberger had followed her into the bathroom and shut the door. “She continued to say she didn’t want to have sex, but he kept saying, “No, it’s OK.” Lubatti said that her friend told of having unprotected sex with Roethlisberger. After hearing her friend’s account, Lubatti and another woman, Nicole Biancofiore, “walked up to the first cop we saw and told them what happened.”
Biancofiore also told police about seeing her friend disappear with Roethlisberger inside the club. She recalled telling the club’s owner that her friend was “too drunk to be back there” with Roethlisberger, adding that the man assured her that “Ben would not do anything to ruin his reputation.” Biancofiore said that when her friend resurfaced, the woman was crying and “she told us he raped her.”
Witness Elizabeth Brooks told investigators of partying with Roethlisberger at Capital City, where he purchased a round of shots for women in the VIP room and announced, “All my bitches, take some shots.”
In a March 17 letter to prosecutor Fred Bright, a lawyer for the woman asked that the rape probe be dropped. “What is obvious in looking forward is that a criminal trial would be a very intrusive personal experience for a complainant in this situation, given the extraordinary media attention that would be inevitable,” wrote attorney David Walbert. “The media coverage to date, and the efforts of the media to access our client, have been unnerving, to say the least.”
To check out the whole disturbing police report, click here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0415101roethlisberger1.html
Bill Buckner Compliments His Mustache With Some Serious Eyebrows
Rod Beck's Tribute To Horseshoe Lovers Everywhere
Ozzie Smith Began His Career With A Statement 'Stache. The Rest Is History
Wyatt Earp... oops, I mean Dennis Eckersley
Jason Giambi and the Dirty Sanchez
Keith Hernandez and the Gentleman Mustache
The Mad Hungerian, Al Hrabosky, and His Mad Stupid Facial Hair
Jeff Kent, with his creation, "The Asshole Deluxe"
Jim Leyland, apparently posing for Playgirl Magazine
Randy Johnson is sporting "The Rube"
Lando Calrissian
The Magnificent Rollie Fingers
Clay Zavada with the Rollie Fingers, Part Deux
Mike Schmidt and the double-threat, the Ginger Mustache
Brendan Ryan, rocking the John Holmes
And the Parade of Mustaches Marches Into The Future!!!
After some rumors that JaMarcus Russell was re-dedicated to his fitness and training this off-season, now reports claim that Russell reported to Raiders’ camp weighing 290 pounds. So not only are the Raiders stuck with the dumbest quarterback in the NFL, but now they have a quarterback built like a defensive lineman.
~”I do think this is a most incredible website for proclaiming great wonders of Our God!”
Thanks super fan! I’d also like to let you all know that God came to me last night and told me that Jacob on LOST is a genie. He also told me to warn chicks to stay the fuck away from Ben Roethlisberger. PRAISE BE!
