ITS OFFICIALLY OFFICAL: Phillies Fans Are Most Definitely Degenerates

(Dumbass No. 1 To Run On Field)

(Dumbass No. 2 On Field The Following Night)
There were incidents on consecutive nights in Philadelphia during the home series against the St. Louis Cardinals this week wherein two high-IQed individuals ran onto the field while the Cardinals were at-bat. The first was 17 years old, and the second was seven months pregnant and clearly very hungry. Forget tasering these people, has anyone considered waterboarding?