Mark McGwire Did Steriods… AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS.
Since Mark McGwire is coming back to baseball this year as the new hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, it is clear he wanted to get something of his voluptuous steroid-induced man-tittays.
According to Mr. McGwire’s own admission, he used steroids on and off throughout the 90s, including during his record-breaking home run season. I haven’t been this shocked since I found out Freddie Mercury was gay.
“It’s time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize,” McGwire said in a statement released through the Cardinals. “I wish I had never touched steroids. It was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroids era.”
Of course this will be of minor benefit to the St. Louis Cardinals, as McGwire’s continued silence would have made it difficult for him to work productively with Holliday and the other Cardinals hitters without heavy skepticism.
McGwire somewhat defended himself by stating that his usage came with the desire to recover quickly from injuries and not as a means of cheating. That’s crazy, because I could have sworn he did all those ‘roids because he hated having testicles. I know I would.
Freddie Mercury was gay???
Dude, why didn’t you say spoiler alert in the title or something?
Anyway, here’s my take on a McGwire confession that still leaves us with more questions than answers.
Would love to exchange blogrolls if you’re so inclined. I’ll stay tuned to your site for more sparkling, classic rock revelations.
Sorry about that…oh and by the way – Elton John, totally straight, a real man’s-man