Things I Hate: Fruit
More specifically, I hate fruit in beer. Limes, oranges, whatever. If you’re saying, “Hey, what’s wrong with putting a fruit in your beer?” Well then sir, you are gayer than Billy Beane. Don’t fight it, just accept it and be proud. Give me a call, perhaps we can go jean shopping together sometime. However, nothing chaps my ass like sitting at a bar, watching the game and overhearing some dude complain about the missing orange in his stupid Hefeweizen. If you still find nothing wrong with this and you are not gay, then I have a solution: Lean forward until your face is touching the computer monitor. Then beat your head repeatedly against the screen until you die.
